Tuesday, June 13, 2023

Marriage is a Dying Foundation

 We recently attended a wedding where there was no music, no scripture reading, no pastor, no prayer and not one mention about the meaning or sanctity of marriage.  Of course they had already been living together for a few years, bought a house, probably have a dog so had already been "practicing" marriage for quite some time.  My wife and wondered why they were actually getting married?  Why not just live together for as long as they can tolerate each other?  I guess they just wanted to have a big party and invite all the friends and family.

It is now the norm for the 20-somethings and 30-somethings to live together.  Back in the 1970's whenever such a thing was discussed it was in hushed tones with a certain amount shame involved and the words "living in sin" were used.

Bible readers know that what we are witnessing is one more major foundation of a civilized, God-fearing nation coming apart.

Due to shifting social norms, a statistical majority of Gen Z is uninterested in marriage. Are they giving up on love entirely? Certainly not.

Even though a survey showed that 74% of Americans acknowledge marriage is unappealing to younger generations, most Gen Zers still desires exclusivity with partners. As commitments to marriage decrease, divorce rates increase. What is responsible for lagging marriage rates amongst younger generations? According to experts at Family Research Council, a variety of factors are behind these developments.

In comments to The Washington Stand, Joseph Backholm, FRC's senior fellow for Biblical Worldview and Strategic Engagement, said, "I think the reason Gen Z is less interested in marriage than other generations is that they haven't been taught to see the value of marriage. They've been taught to see the value in doing whatever makes you happy." In an age where young people seem to stray from the uncomfortable, marriage is now on the list. "Marriage is uncomfortable, but wonderful," Backholm added.

Likewise, David Closson, FRC's director of the Center for Biblical Worldview, added, "Members of Gen Z and millennials, for that matter, are increasingly pursuing the goods of marriage, such as companionship, sex, and children, outside of God's design for marriage. As a result, commitment to marriage as an institution is at an all-time low." According to Closson, a strong marriage culture is the foundation of a thriving society, and as marriage crumbles, a host of social maladies will follow.

In comments to the Stand, Closson outlined three developments that he believes have led to a deterioration in marriage norms in the United States.

First, we must "understand where our nation is regarding worldview. Only a fraction of Americans view all of life according to Scripture." Closson explained how worldview shapes everything one thinks and does. A biblical worldview provides the context for strong families which are the basic building block of strong societies. 

Within a biblical worldview, the proper context for sex is the covenant of marriage which provides security, permanence, and stability -- intangible benefits that are especially important for women and children. A secular worldview, which has "decoupled sex from marriage," fails to provide a stable context for families to thrive. Despite its promises of liberty, a "hook-up culture devalues and dehumanizes its participants," Closson noted.

A second factor is the exposure to pornography among men. "Recent research reveals a record high of men who are single and uninterested in marriage," Closson said. "Sixty-seven percent of 13-year-old boys have seen pornography, resulting in about 90% by age 18." For Closson, exposure to pornography corrupts how marriage is viewed today because "pornography destroys what one expects in a relationship" and changes how men interact with women.

The third factor pertains to the rise of social media use, which affects both males and females. "We are swimming in an age of superficiality," Closson commented. "We are losing the ability to create relationships in person -- the kind of relationships that lead to marriage." As Backholm put it, "The ideal situation for children is to grow up with their biological mother and father who have made lifelong commitments to each other." But with pornography altering how men view relationships, and social media mitigating authenticity, these lifelong commitments are becoming increasingly difficult to build, they argue.

Here;  Gen Z And The Unappealing 'I Do' (prophecynewswatch.com)

How sad.  Is marriage hard?  Yes it is.  You have the joining of two very imperfect people trying to share all of life til death do you part.  But is it awesome!  Yes it is!!  You have a relationship like none other on earth with both of you going through all the ups and downs of life, jobs, homes, children, finances, health issues and everything else that pertains to life.

As one preacher said, "marriage isn't supposed to make you happy all the time, it's meant to make you holy."  It's the picture on earth of Christ and His bride, the church.  It's also the place that God designed to be a place that sexual intimacy is blessed and also the best union to raise children.  We all know the statistics for how damaging it is for kids to not have a father at home. 

We truly don't see a future in store for us where this trend will actually reverse.  It's only going to get worse.

So what is the good news in reporting this foundational collapse?  Only that Jesus said we can expect the world to become worse and worse as the nearness of His return comes into view.  "Fear not!  For I have overcome the world!"

2 Comments:

Blogger Paul Gausmann said...

Experts say that the negative effects of a divorce upon the divorced couple lasts about four years. They used to believe that the effects of a divorce upon the children lasted only 6-8 years. Now, they believe the effects of a divorce upon a child lasts a lifetime!

Who would want to expose oneself to the pain of another divorce? This is a very important and somewhat overlooked reason, why young people - especially those having lived with the adverse effects of divorce are choosing not to get married.
Paul Gausmann

June 14, 2023 at 4:10 PM  
Blogger Dennis said...

Hey Paul,
Good point! If you watched your parents fight and shred each other in divorce, you would be more hesitant to enter into a contract that could subject YOU to a repeat.

Also statistics says that children of divorce are much more likely to get divorced themselves. Maybe because they saw their parents handle their problems with divorce as the solution?

Couples who both read their Bibles, pray together regularly and attend worship together are far less prone for divorce but it turns out a very small percentage of married couples in America actually do those things. All reasons combined are WHY the foundation of marriage is collapsing in America.

June 15, 2023 at 6:19 AM  

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