Does “Solo-Polyamory” Mean Having it All?

Many folks warned that once you changed the God-ordained definition of marriage, then the whole institution would become meaningless. And if marriage doesn’t exist anymore then the family won’t exist anymore.  This is exactly what the Evil One wants because he knows there is weakness in division and he can pick off our miserable kids and their depressed, hopeless parents one by one.  As you will soon read 43% of millennials say their ideal relationship would NOT be monogamous.  Nope!  No men ever invented marriage. No men ever sat around and agreed to tie themselves to one woman forever and only have sex with her no matter what!  It was God who said it and Satan wants it’s destroyed.  And with articles like this you can be quite certain that it’s heading for destruction.  Remember what we always said, polygamy is coming because the B in LGBT means bisexual, and if you’re bisexual you need to marry at least one man AND one woman.  Or maybe it’s easier to chuck marriage in the trash and just live with and have sex with whomever you want?

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After Chris, 35, came out as bisexual three years ago, he decided that he “didn’t necessarily want to live a heteronormative life”. “I wanted to be able to date men and women simultaneously for my whole life,” says Chris, who is withholding his surname for privacy. “I felt  like monogamy would deny me something of myself.”

During the pandemic, Chris moved into an intentional, sex-positive community in Brooklyn, New York – a “safe space” where he could further explore his relationship with sex and sexuality. Through that community, he discovered a course called Open Smarter, which guided students through navigating various types of ethically non-monogamous relationships. That’s where he first heard the term ‘solo polyamory’. He quickly felt like it fit his dating style.

At its core, solo polyamory refers to people who are open to dating or engaging in multiple meaningful relationships without having a ‘primary partner’: one person to whom they’re committed above all other partners. Instead, the solo polyamorist might see themselves as their own primary partner, eschewing typical relationship goals, like merging finances or homes with a partner, and getting married and having children. 

Solo polyamorists represent a small portion of polyamorists in general, many of whom tend to have or aim to have a primary partner, says Philadelphia-based sex educator and therapist Liz Powell, 39, so it’s inherently difficult to figure out what percentage of the overall population is engaging in relationships this way. However, some studies show younger generations are more likely to have entered into some kind of non-monogamous relationship than older generations. 

Per a 2020 YouGov survey of 1,300 US adults, 43% of millennials said that their ideal relationship would be non-monogamous, while just 30% of Gen X said the same. Overall, research from 2016 synthesising two different US studies showed 20% of respondents engaged in a consensually non-monogamous relationshipat some point. But these studies don’t break down those numbers by specific types of non-monogamous relationships, so it’s impossible to say how many of those surveyed identify with solo polyamory.

Solo polyamory also doesn’t have to be forever. One could identify as solo poly today, but still wind up entering a more traditional relationship with a shared home or finances in the future – it doesn’t have to be a fixed identity to be valid, says New York-based sex researcher and consultant Zhana Vrangalova.

Chris, in fact, expresses interest in one day finding a primary partner, but says in the meantime being solo poly “allows me to date, have experiences with people, get to know a lot of different people, and have some of my needs met”. It’s similar to when he was dating around monogamously, he adds, “except now I’ve put a label on it to communicate to people what my intentions are”.

 https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220301-does-solo-polyamory-mean-having-it-all